Archive for the ‘Seasonal ‘Staches’ Category
C.J. Wilson’s got a dirty porn moustache.
I always learn something new about a player once I start writing an article.
Today’s article is about Texas Ranger’s off-and-on closer C.J. Wilson.
Today I learned that C.J. Wilson has a large following of female fans.
The ladies over at Those Girls Baseball Blog give him mental hugs. His myspace page looks like it was made for girls to basically call him “good looking” and “gourges,” which I believe is a new form of the word “gorgeous.” And then there’s this hilariously awful, reminds-me-why-women-shouldn’t-watch-sports-page. I don’t even know how to describe this, but it’s an all-star team made of “hotties.” If you go to the site and sacrifice a small part of your masculinity, you’ll notice C.J. didn’t make the team. Well, it’s got a few women up-in-arms and a debate about his qualifications is raging in the comments section.
I’m thinking that maybe these women are throwing their eggs in the wrong basket.
Apparently C.J. Wilson entered the porn business during the 2008 offseason. A man who would have nuzzled you to sleep and whispered sweet nothings in your ear will now only rape you. Women, BEWARE!
Ankiel’s success directly related to ‘stache.
April 21-23 was Rick Ankiel’s most productive period so far this year. It was also his hairiest.
With the ‘stache, Ankiel went 6-13 with 4 runs scored, his only homer, and 3 of his 5 RBI on the year. He also raised his average to .250.
On Friday, Ankiel showed up to Busch Stadium hairless as the day he was born. He promptly went 0-4.
Rick Ankiel’s gnarly ‘stache.
“If you win 20 in the show, you can let the fungus grow back and the press’ll think you’re colorful. Until you win 20 in the show, however, it means you are a slob.”-Bull Durham
Well it seems like the ‘stache brought Ankiel a little luck in his otherwise miserable season thus far. He drove a double into right, bringing around Brendan Ryan in a game the Card’s eventually won 6-4.
